The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

22:26 May 31 2013
Times Read: 492

Okay, so, I can't wait till Monday... literally. So I am going to be leaving Sunday. I will be scarce for a while. I'll log on to check messages and do a few things around here. I'm going to reset my cell so that it alerts me as to when I get a message.



I'm so happy!

01:56 May 30 2013
Times Read: 519

haha Here you two! Here's the pics!

01:05 May 30 2013
Times Read: 528

Woot. Got my hair did today! Blonde and strawberry blonde. Its a fun difference and one that doesn't scream "I need attention".



I had a wonderful day hanging out with my friend and her girls. We both needed this family time while her husband is off for work. I love her girls. They are just so, so sweet.



And 4 more days till I go. I am so, so excited. I can't wait. I wish it was Monday already. -sigh-

18:03 May 27 2013
Times Read: 584

This has me perplexed. If you just cannot stand someone/dislike them/hate them and etcetera, why would you feel the need to read their journal? Why would you care what goes on in their life, and what they are doing?



I don't read any journals besides whats on my favorite journal lists, or if someone points a journal out I have to look at for ToS reasons. I don't look at the journals page, because I just don't care to see all the crap.



Its just weird to me.

03:57 May 25 2013
Times Read: 600

20:16 May 23 2013
Times Read: 643

My new luggage is so super cute!







Love. Love. Love. Its so bright and fun.

YAY!

21:01 May 20 2013
Times Read: 690

I am so thankful for my Aunt. I am truly blessed to have someone like her in my life.



I lost my mom at a hard time in my life. I still had/have questions about life and love that confused me, or I didn't know how to handle them. Because her and my mom were so close because of raising her, there are so similar. Being that they are so similar, and so very important to me, when I need that 'motherly' talk, she is right there. And the words she says not only come from her, but from my mom as well.



It feels so good to know that she is happy for me. That she is praying for me, and that she is supportive in my decisions. As I sit there and tell her all the things about Howard and how I feel, she is really happy and excited for me. Just as excited as I know my mom would be.



Its a wonderful feeling to have.

05:43 May 19 2013
Times Read: 727

He makes me so happy.



The sweet things he says to me are so genuine. They are said because they are real he means them. They are just so... pure. They aren't said for any other reason than that he means them.



I miss him.. terribly. I miss the way he always walks by me and touches me. I miss waking up and knowing that he is there. I miss laying in bed with him, talking and just being. I miss the way his skin feels and the times when he can be awkward. I even miss the way something gets him aggravated and he gets an attitude.



I miss the way he looks at me. Like nothing else matters but me.



I wasn't sure what would happen when I went. After all these years.. I didn't know. I knew for sure that no matter which way it went a friend was walking back into my life- a friend that I cared about deeply. But I now know that it is so much more than a friendship. Not only is it the beginning of something beautiful, but its the continuation of it as well.



I wish he would have found me sooner, since I couldn't find him. I wish he could have found me years ago. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is he found me. And he and I... are what matters now.



Even after I read this, it doesn't come close to the euphoria I am feeling. While this is all how I feel.. words elude me. Perhaps because all the emotions I am feeling could never be contained in words as simple as these. It is as though what I am feeling cannot be bound to simple letters, so to try would just be preposterous. Maybe this is what happens when things are right. For the first time in a long time, things feel right. Blissfully right.

21:12 May 18 2013
Times Read: 742

I am excited! Not only do I get to be with H again.. a friend that I haven't seen in ages is going to come over when I am there. There are only a few people from my past that I want to reconnect with- H being the most important one, and Tearrie was another. She is the sweetest. She has a heart of gold, and she is just a good person. Well, crazy but a good person. lol



I am excited. I am on cloud 9.

22:58 May 17 2013
Times Read: 778

Huzzah!



Just got home a bit ago from my visit. It was... amazing.. Just amazing. Amazing to the point of... Moonie is beyond happy.



After 9 years, it was like the time apart never happened at all. And while my life is so different now with my disabilities, it didn't matter. Even though I have changed in different ways, it was still the same.. *I* am still the same.



The spark that we have, the one carried over the years, ignited. And it felt fucking wonderful. Its pure. Its genuine. Its truth. Its honest. And I damn well deserve it.

00:53 May 15 2013
Times Read: 805

I will be out of town for a few days. So if I do not answer, then that is why. I will be checking messages every so often, but I may not get a chance to answer.



See you in a few days! ;)

03:09 May 13 2013
Times Read: 826

One more day! I am getting excited.



YAY!

23:24 May 11 2013
Times Read: 849

I get lost in the silence. I can become so lost in it, that it feels as though that is the most comfortable place for me at times.



I get lost within the moments and thoughts that race through my mind. Perhaps its partly due to the fact that I am an only child, and that I am constantly thinking about anything and everything.



There are moments when I can make myself surface, and take in the noise like a fresh gulp of oxygen after a long swim. There are other times I need someone to throw me a line and help reel me in.



Silence can also be a form of safety for me. Without words, or the expression in words, there is nothing to be thrown back at me. That may have something to do with trust. It happens more often than not, that when I do get to the level of shedding the silence, it turns into a nightmare.



There are times I want to shed that silence, for whatever reason, and see where it takes me. Then there are times I crave it for the safety it proves. It seems like a constant battle, and one that I haven't be able to balance.



What to do, what to do.

18:41 May 09 2013
Times Read: 870

I really need to get some web designing skill and create a website for thing things I create. Not just use deviantart. I do like to offer some of the wallpaper and I do and stuff for people to use.



Plus, I think it would be fun. I enjoy doing it.

02:57 May 09 2013
Times Read: 893

Another Fractal thingy.







The image links to a larger one so someone can use it as a wallpaper. Please don't claim it as yours.. blah.. blah.. eat... your spleen.. blah blah. haha

21:30 May 08 2013
Times Read: 928


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



-Albert Einstein



So basically, stop bitching about something that won't change. If you've already bitched about a million times, and it still hasn't changed, and probably won't because everything isn't about you and your perspective more than likely sucks, then it probably won't change. Or it could be that you are -gasp- W R O N G. Sweet baby jeebus on a pogo stick, how could that be?



If someone hates something so much about a place, then freakin' leave. And stay LEFT. It's a pretty easy solution to the copious amounts of bitching.



Note: This is just a random rant.

Lord knows if I don't put that in here, I'll have people getting all bent.

19:59 May 08 2013
Times Read: 938

Wooot! A week till I go visit H! I am getting pretty stoked to see him. I've forgotten how much of an OCD packer that I am. lol It's insane. Jeebs.

00:01 May 08 2013
Times Read: 974

I cannot believe the stuff that the dumb bitch stole from me. It seems like even after these years, I still randomly think of something and its gone. She stole lingerie, a makeup case, clothes, money.



Stupid bitch. Ugh.

19:16 May 07 2013
Times Read: 989

I am not hauling down my huge makeup case. I have a smaller one, but I can't freakin' find it! I hate when I know I have something and I can't find it. I need to start getting my stuff together. I am horrible about that. I quadruple check to make sure I don't forget anything. Traveling with me is fun. hah.



Its gunna be fun spending time with H. Its been too long. He better be able to put up with my shit for 4 days or he's gunna be screwed. hah.

02:03 May 07 2013
Times Read: 1,006

Why so Green? heh.



This is pretty fun. I wanted to learn fractal, but I think I prefer doing this. There is more freedom in it, and the shapes used make such a difference.







Once again, the image links to a bigger image if someone wants to use it as a desktop. Please don't steal it and claim you made it, or I will be forced to eat your spleen. :)

00:03 May 07 2013
Times Read: 1,013

I have a love/hate relationship with the forum. I think that's why I've stayed away from it for so long. So I decided to try my hand at posting again. I just hope it doesn't lead to what it normally does..me posting and then a thread going dead.



I miss debates, but it's rare to find anymore. Its a skill that has almost become nonexistent. We'll see how this goes. I need some mind stimulation. I love having it stimulated one on one, but I am curious to see how different people react.

04:10 May 04 2013
Times Read: 1,077

This is the kinda thing my mind comes up with when I am bored and photoshop is calling.







The image links to a larger image encase someone wants to use it as a background or desktop wallpaper.



Please don't steal it an alter it and claim that you made.. or I will turn into a very, very vicious MooniePie.



If you need it larger, let me know. The original size is 1900x1250.

20:50 May 03 2013
Times Read: 1,087

17:45 May 03 2013
Times Read: 1,098






The bottle on the left has lasted me maybe 2 weeks. hah

Hopefully its twin BigAssS last me more than 2 weeks.. probably 3.



Its like a Sriracha bottle on steroids.

03:05 May 03 2013
Times Read: 1,119

Okay... I just straight up about tinkled.



Sitting here trying to figure out how to do fractals. Its quiet. Then suddenly.. BAM BAM BAM. Something beat on the door hard. I mean like so hard you could hear the door rattle.



The cat was downstairs. Nothing was by the door. Either an animals outside was going to try and come in for a visit.. or somethin' else. Now I can just giggle because my dad is freaking out. hahahahahah

14:49 May 02 2013
Times Read: 1,151

When up at the wee hours of the morning, and a commercial comes on that says "Have a party in your mouth", it tends to make the day start off kind of awkward.

01:49 May 02 2013
Times Read: 1,176

I've been thinking since I've joined facebook about going and finding people that I use to talk with and add them to my friends. I've added two that I was friends with for quite a few years.



As I looked, I seen some things that I just wasn't happy with. For instance, how can you be friends with a pedophile and not question your own morals? I didn't and do not want those kind of people in my life.



And then I noticed more people that could have contacted me when I 'disappeared'. They had my contact information, and yet there was no effort put into it. I then when I really started to think about it, I realized that because I couldn't just run and visit, that my life took a drastic change, it- no not it, but *I* became an inconvenience in their life. Why would I want to incorporate that into my life again?



I have never not been friends with someone because of their disability. I had a friend in high school who was in a wheel chair, and I adored him. He was fun and funny and he was a trip when we use to explore old buildings. I would have missed out on the great times if I acted like putting his wheel chair in the back of my car was some kind of torture.



While my Cauda Equina changed my life, I wouldn't take back the mental change it has given me. While I do struggle, it has taught me lessons about who I am as a person, and what I want as far as the people who surround me. Its taught me that it is okay to lean on those who are your true friends, and that they will not judge you for the life changes you've endured.



Its also taught me that people can be, and probably always be, assholes.



I have the people in my life from the past who I want in my life. I don't need to invite those people who cast me aside back into the slots they fit into before. I don't hate them. I don't harbor any emotions for them. I wish them well on their journeys, but I think its best our paths not merge like they did before.



One said to me "you've always been different". I then thought to myself- yes, I have been. And my differences have given me life experiences that I treasure, and moments that I have learned from. When I was younger I did some pretty messed up stuff. I was also really mean. If you think I'm mean now, then you would have been in the fetal position crying if you knew me back when. Those differences have taught me to not be so much of a bitch. Still a bitch, but now it takes me a lot before I have to reach that point. Its also taught me that flying off the handle isn't always the best thing to do, but time and calculation can make a moment even more enjoyable than just a quick lesson.



Simply put- there are times I like myself, there are times I don't. It happens all the time in life, but I don't want to cycle back to the past I had.



Onward and upward!



I have some really great people in my life. Ones that are not perfect, but perfectly them. Ones that change, grow and evolve into people that I still learn from everyday. Even people who I am not friends with any longer have taught me things. Some I do wish I never invited into the inner parts of me, and others that while I did, and things dissolved into moments unpleasant, they weren't as bad as some of the other situations I've encountered.



I'm happy with those who now enfold me in their friendships. I'm right where I should be.



End of ramble. hah.

22:34 May 01 2013
Times Read: 1,190

haha That lil bastard got a bath. It is rather entertaining to watch him try to walk across the floor an shaking his feet. His is beyond pissed. It makes me giggle. Come back all dirty at 1 in the morning.



Jack-ass The Cat. heh.

19:21 May 01 2013
Times Read: 1,208

Goddammed cat. I swear to all hell.



He got out about 1 or so yesterday afternoon. He normally comes back within a few hours. Oh NO... Noooooooo.



I shut the light off at 12 this morning. I went to bed and read. About 1 am.. I hear this knock on the front door. I get up to look and what to do I find? The cat knockin on the door at 1am because he thinks its time to come in.



Asshole.